Swept in 4

Yes folks, i have confirmed it. The Astros have indeed lost the world series in 4 straight games. I am in shear awe just as much as the next guy. How could a team come from the depths of the Majors and rise to the pinnacle of the sport's being and fall short so helplessly? I bore over this throughout my slumber last night. Flashes of blown saves and stranded base runners haunted my dreams. I did, however come to the comforting thought that they did live the dream. I, along with my fellow 'Stros faithful, witnessed the undeniably best season in the franchise's 44 year history. That is quite a cool feeling. You almost wished you could have willed the last 4 games, just to give Bags and Biggio the crown the had worked so hard for and rightfully deserved. In retrospect, you can't forgo what is for what might have been. An amazing ride with a stand up ball club. I can't ask for much more. Except, maybe, to freaking win next year.

Back to kindergarten

"Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
Proverbs 19:20-21

God has a great sense of humor and irony. In a rare situation of randomness, I was wide awake this morning around 6:30. Maybe my mind was still churning with the potential accounting issues at the client I'm at. Regardless, I was awake and there's not much to do at that point in the morning. Sure I could have worked out but lets be honest. I haven't been able to work out in about 2 months due to the fact I don't get home till 11 every night. So what is one morning going to change? I can start Monday once I'm on a new client........maybe.

Anyway, I decided I'm up at the crack of dawn, I might as well take some time to dive into the Word. I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to read, just figured I would let God tell me what he wanted this particular morning. Sure enough I flipped open Proverbs (which I might add is one of the most underrateded books of the Bible) and found a quite appropriate passage.

I've been struggling in my life to decide where I fit. I feel like I'm back to my toddler days, trying to get the proverbial (get it?) round peg in the square hole. At this age, its not so much about analytically thinking as it is trial and error. Surely, if you try all of the holes, one will work. Its funny that as you grow up you realize that a lot of your learning is about trial and error. You finally get to the point that you realize "oh that doesn't fit because it didn't fit yesterday."

I think that life is still trial and error to an extent as you grow. Where you live, what you do, who you do it with, all things that you never know until you try it. I realize that and know that to an extent, God will let us struggle a bit until we realize that it doesn't matter where we think we should be. Its God's will that is realized. I now find myself trying to balance God's will versus another failed effort. The only place I can find solace is in God's presence and that gives me hope. I know that God will reveal his plans through my constant pressing. I'm just anxious.

So I think I can be pretty confident that my circle peg isn't fitting into this square hole at this point in my life. But what if I'm really a triangle................

"What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecclesiastes 2:22-6

Everything I do is meaningless. Let me back up.......God has a plan. In his infinite wisdom, he is aware of how things should and will be. He knew how grand the Grand Canyon would be. He knew that the the forming of the continents would create the amazing beauty that is the Rocky Mountains. He even knew that hurricanes would tear through the Gulf coast. Most importantly, He knew that he would be glorified. As that is the case, no decision by any being other than Him would alter that plan.

Taking that to heart, how do I know God's plan for me? Let me put it this way.......was my decision to be an accountant vitally important in God's plan? Of course not. He would have found some other schmo to fill my spot. Likewise, does God's glory and plan depend on men and women pursuing ministry to fulfill His plan? Of course not. God's will is a given. If Billy Graham or Ed Young or Joel Osteen decided not to preach God's word, would His plan fail? The answer is no. Someone else would have been in that role to serve God's purpose.

Essentially, my decisions on my vocation are meaningless. God will be glorified. I realize now that it comes down to my willingness to submit to God's plan. Once I can be honest with myself and say, "You know what God, if you need me to be an accountant to serve your will, then I'm down," then I can listen for what my true calling should be. I'll let you know when that time comes.

Enjoy life.

Amazed

Today is the best day of my life......and tomorrow will be better.

A good friend of mine has this outlook on life. It's a nice way to look at your life........when you're not an auditor. I'm pretty confident that if I gathered up all the bad events in my life, cumulatively they could not sniff the day I've had today. That sounds a bit harsh but I really don't feel like I can put into words how disappointed I am with the way this day has gone. I feel like I'm in a rut. Like I'm living a life that is someone else's and I'm just sitting here watching it deteriorate.

You know that feeling when you lose something? That helpless, lost feeling? I feel like I have one possession to my name.....my soul. Let's say, for comparative purposes, that my soul is a piece of gold. Its the one thing I have to call my own. Now picture yourself standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean. All of sudden you drop your lone piece of gold. The feeling you get watching it fall helplessly to the abyss, is how I feel today.

Reflection

Genetically, human beings are wired to analyze. It is in our nature. It gives us a sense of justification for the things that "are" in and about our world. Everyone goes about it in different ways. Whether it be a casual review of our weekend activities or a spiritual awakening to one's purpose in life, we will at some point look at ourselves and say, "This is good" or "Something needs to change."

Traditionally, American culture becomes engrossed, if not obsessed with this inward analysis around the beginning of the year. New Year's brings about the opportunity to re-start your life. To say, "This year will be different." The proverbial do-over from childhood. The biggest task in the redo, however, is justifying why it didn't change from last year.

I find that birthdays are my time to reflect. I mean it makes sense. I can look back and say I've been on this earth X - many years. Now what the crap have I accomplished? Yesterday was my 25th birthday. A milestone in every sense of the word. I've transitioned from my young adult stage, free of concern or real world troubles and found myself in the monotony that is the working world.

I've decided that my life needs a change. I know that I'm not happy. But what can I do? There is no new diet, fad, or "Purpose of a Driven Life" that can make the changes I need. I have succumbed to the fact that I need a complete face lift as my career goes. But where do I go? How will I know what God intends my vocation to be? I spent most of yesterday pondering those thoughts. Sundays are really good days to reflect. The Cowboys are usually playing terribly so there's nothing better to do on a lazy day.

I don't know where I'll be 3 months from now, but I am aware of one true reality; I need a do over.

An explanation is in order

So many of you internet journeymen may wonder what the heck "The Six 4 Three" really means. It references one of the purest plays in baseball......the 6-4-3 double play. I think that as far as sports goes, nothing quite gives me chills like watching an effectively turned double play in baseball. Whether it be a backhanded flip or an off balance throw by the shortstop deep in the hole, nothing quite compares to it.